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Most often we celebrate our past success. We live in the fantasy of the things we achieved in the past. We think that our success is what defines us; it is what makes us grow.

Does celebrating our past success makes us grow? Does it help us in any way?

Yes, of course, it enhances our courage and confidences. But, it is not the success that defines us or makes us grow. Instead, it is our sufferings and pains that make us grow. It is our grit and and the ability to tackle the failures that defines us. How we deal with the problem is what defines us.

But here is the punchline: The celebration of our past successes and achievements de-emphasize our future.

We must navigate our future instead of spending time by celebrating the past deeds.

The term, paradoxical intention was introduced by psychiatrist Dr. Viktor E. Frankl. This works as the reversal of one's attitude. There has been many medical proofs that this process has worked in changing one's attitude, removing fear, anxiety, insomnia, stress, self-harm, phobias etc.

The wish is the father of thoughts and the fear is the mother of event. Paradoxical intention is a hyper-intention that makes impossible what one wishes.

When someone has a phobia and he/she tries to fight against it, the phobia triggers the symptoms and the symptoms, in turn, reinforces phobia. This results in increase in phobia because pressure precipitates counterpressure. But when the patient stops fighting against it but instead tries to ridicule them by dealing with them in an ironical way (paradoxical intention/wish), this circle will cease and the phobia will finally atrophies.

Paradoxical intention can also be applied in case of insomnia. The fear of sleeplessness results in hyper-intention to fall asleep which incapacitates the patient to do so. To overcome this, instead of trying to fall sleep one should try the opposite; that is to stay awake as long as possible. The hyper-intention to fall asleep, arising from the anticipatory anxiety of not being able to do so, must be replaced by the paradoxical intention of not to fall asleep, which will soon be followed by sleep.

Well this might be temporary but above all, the cure to everything is self-transcendence.

The four great works of four Roman stoics focus on four key central ideas which describe Stoicism. The four virtues are:

Courage: Courage is the opposing force of cowardice. Courage is not the elimination or fear, desire or anxiety, it is acting in the right way despite our fear, desire and anxieties. It is the ability to retain strength of character and our morals in the face of the fear and desire not to do so. Epictetus writes, “And they say that there is this difference between the mind of a foolish man and that of a wise man, that the foolish man thinks that such ‘visions’ are in fact as dreadful and terrifying as they appear at the original impact of them on his mind, and by his assent he approves of such ideas as if they were rightly to be feared, and ‘confirms’ them .... But the wise man, after being affected for a short time and slightly in his color and expression, ‘does not assent,’ but retains the steadfastness and strength of the opinion which he has always had about visions of this kind, namely that they are in no wise to be feared but excite terror by a false appearance and vain alarms”

Justice: Justice in Stoicism is broader than justice in our language and legal systems today. For the Stoics, justice is our duty to our fellow man, and to our society. It’s the morality behind how we act, specifically in relation to our community and the people within it. It serves to focus your actions towards the betterment of the whole, rather than just the self. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “What is not good for the beehive, cannot be good for the bees."

Temperance: Temperance/moderation relates to self restraint, self discipline and self control. It is our ability to choose long term well-being over short term satisfaction. It is the opposite of gluttony, greed, instant gratification, addictive behavior, laziness, and procrastination. Seneca wrote, “Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We've been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.”

Wisdom: It's an ability to define what is good, what is not good, and what is indifferent. The Stoics believed that virtue is good and vice is not. Virtue leads to happiness and vice pulls us further from it. Wisdom is simply our ability to know what is what, and in knowing we can guide our actions more deliberately.

We must never forget that we may also find  meaning in hopeless situation.  When we are no longer able to change the situation - we have no option rather than to accept it. This suffering if taken as a challenge to improve ourselves will no longer be painful rather peaceful.

But suffering is not necessary  to find meaning. the point is meaning can be found even in spite of suffering if the suffering is unavoidable.

What is the meaning of life?

This is one of the vague and the most difficult question to be asked. The meaning of life differs from person to person, day to day, hours to hours and situation to situation.

Therefore, what matters the most is not the general meaning of life but rather specific meaning of one's life at a specific time and particular situation. Asking someone the meaning of life is just like asking a chess champion, 'what is the best move in chess?' This is absolutely ridiculous question. There is no any best or good move; it only depends on particular situation and personality and technique of opponent.

The same holds true for human existence.

Everyone has their own specific mission or aim in life and hence they execute based on that. We, therefore, should not ask what the meaning of our life is, rather we should recognize that it is us who is asked. Each of us is questioned by our own life and we are the one who can answer and that answer is for our own life.

It is basically the moving force for human beings. Tony Robbins divided human needs into 6 categories:

Certainty/comfort: It is the need to feel in control of that is coming next, so that we can feel secure. It’s the need to avoid pains and stress.
Uncertainty/variety: It is the need for surprises and variety of gifts and amusements.
Significance: It is the need to feel important, special and unique.
Love an connections: need to be loved and to love.
Growth: It is the need to experience new things ; it’s need of adventure and growth.

All these needs vary of different based on their personality and the environment.

They are different...

What is popular might not be good and what is good might not be popular. We need to pick one because picking both will result in failure and cost us our time.

We need to chose right option and we can't have both because when we choose one we will ultimately loose another.

According to Buddhism, all suffering is originated from the attachment to something. Suffering arises from craving. They always insist that the person who craves something always suffer.

It’s so true in today’s world, as the rate of depression is increasing and the suicidal rate is elevating; the fundamental reason for this is not achieving the things they wish/plan for achieving. They are attached to their plan and work on it and when they don’t meet, they suffer. And the most interesting part is even when they meet what they want they crave for more, leading always to suffer more.

The only way to fully liberate from suffering is to be fully liberated from craving and attachment. This can be attained by training our mind to experience the reality as it is.

Nature is our greatest teacher and the important lesson it teaches us is patience. We need to learn the pace of nature which is its patience.

Nature is smarter than all of us. It is the reality. Nature shows us the way about how the reality works. It also teaches cruelty and kindness. All we need is to acknowledge its teachings.

It is hired by us to accomplish certain task like to fill the voids, to connect to the people, to get entertained or to prove that we’re the part of this innovative world.
But most of the time, our phone works for corporations, massive acquaintances and large social networks. They have hired it to put us to the work for their benefits. We think phones are the product and we are the customers. It’s actually opposite. We’re not the customer, we’re the product.

Our attention and addiction towards it is getting sold, and not for our interest but for theirs.

When our phone grabs our attention to fill the inadequacy, to consume and to surrender our time, is it working?