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In 1902, sociologist Charles Horton Cooley introduced the idea of the looking-glass self: we form our sense of self partly by imagining how others see us.

The process is simple:

We imagine how we appear to others.
We imagine how they judge us.
We develop feelings about ourselves from that imagined judgment.

In this way, society becomes a mirror. We do not only ask, Who am I? We also ask, How do I appear in the eyes of others? Over time, those imagined reflections shape confidence, shame, pride, insecurity, and identity itself.

A student, for example, answers a question in class. If others respond positively, the student may begin to see themselves as intelligent and capable. If classmates laugh or seem dismissive, the same student may become hesitant and start believing they are not good enough. The self changes through interpretation.

The same happens on social media. A person posts a photo or an opinion and then watches for likes, comments, and reactions. Strong approval can create validation and confidence. Silence or criticism can create doubt. The reactions of others become part of how that person sees themselves.

Cooley’s point is not that other people fully define us, but that the self is social from the beginning. We are shaped not only by what we are, but by what we believe others think we are.

That is the deeper risk. A passing reaction can become a lasting belief. Approval can become dependence. Rejection can become hesitation. What begins as reflection can harden into identity.

The self may be formed partly in the eyes of others, but it should not remain trapped there.

We often talk about how to be happy as if happiness is the ultimate purpose of life. Philosophers, poets, religions, and modern self-help books have all tried to answer the same question: How do we become happy?

But why do we talk about happiness so much?
Is happiness truly the purpose of life?
Are we here simply to feel good?

I don’t believe so.

We’re not here just to feel happy; we’re here to live life. That means experiencing struggle, setbacks, heartbreak, pain, joy, wonder, growth: all of it. We are here to experience all range of human emotions, not just the pleasant ones.

The beauty of life isn’t found in pursuing happiness alone, but in embracing every experience and learning to be at peace with it.

Don't focus on happiness. Focus on experience and peace...

A few years ago, I read two books that left a lasting impact on me:
“Why Nations Fail: The Origins of Power, Prosperity, and Poverty” and “Capitalism, Alone.” Today, as I reflect on the situation back home in Nepal, their lessons feel more relevant than ever.

Why Nations Fail

It’s not geography that brings a nation down.
It’s not even culture.

It’s the institutions: the rules of the game that shape incentives for people and businesses.

Nations don’t collapse because they lack resources or talent. They fail when systems choke opportunity and concentrate power in the hands of a few. We see this in Nepal.

Two Types of Institutions

1. Inclusive Institutions
   • Broad distribution of power
   • Strong property rights
   • Rule of law and open markets
     These drive prosperity, freedom, and innovation.
2. Extractive Institutions
   • Power concentrated in elites
   • Weak protection of rights
   • Monopolies and corruption
     These lead to stagnation, poverty, and hopelessness.

Inclusive systems create growth.
Extractive systems trap nations in decline.

Nepal has long suffered under extractive, oligarchic, kleptocratic systems where leaders enrich themselves at the expense of the people.

History reminds us of the “Iron Law of Oligarchy”: revolutions may topple rulers, but without institutional reform, one elite is simply replaced by another.

The Way Forward

Our first task must be stability and clarity. But stability alone is not enough.

Nepal must build inclusive institutions; ones that ignite innovation, reward effort, and open opportunities for all.

Here, Branko Milanovic’s “Capitalism, Alone” provides another lens. Capitalism is now the world’s only system, but it comes in two forms:

1. Liberal Meritocratic Capitalism  (as in the West): democracy, openness, innovation.
2. Political Capitalism  (as in China): rapid growth, but plagued by corruption, repression, and elite capture.

Neither is perfect. But for Nepal, the lesson is clear:
We must fight for a reformed, inclusive capitalism; democratic, transparent, fair, and innovative.

Only then can we break free from cycles of oligarchy and kleptocracy, and build a system where talent, not connections, defines success.

I recently came across a striking quote: “The disruptor can be disrupted, and the disrupted can become the disruptor.”

This simple phrase captures the cyclical nature of innovation and competition. In every industry, no leader is untouchable. The innovator of today can quickly be overtaken if they fail to adapt and yet, those who fall behind can also rise again if they seize the moment.

The Cycle of Disruption

History shows us that disruption is not a one-time event but an ongoing cycle. Innovators shake the system, but if they become complacent, their advantage erodes. The real trick is participation: staying active in the wave of change, even when it threatens your current position.

Tesla and the EV Revolution

Tesla disrupted the auto industry by proving that electric vehicles could be fast, desirable, and technologically advanced. For years, Tesla held the crown. Yet as it grew, the challengers arrived. Legacy automakers like Ford and General Motors, along with Chinese giant BYD, entered the race turning Tesla from disruptor into the disrupted.

Intel vs. AMD

In the 90s, Intel dominated the CPU market with its x86 architecture, powering nearly every personal computer. For a time, it seemed unshakable. But when AMD reinvented its chip design, it clawed its way back from near-bankruptcy and began eroding Intel’s dominance. The disruptor became disrupted.

IBM’s Reinvention

Perhaps one of the most legendary examples comes from IBM. For decades, IBM ruled the computing industry. But its heavy reliance on mainframes left it vulnerable when personal computers reshaped the market. Many thought IBM’s best days were behind it. Yet the company reinvented itself, pivoting into services, software, and cloud computing. Today, IBM is once again pushing boundaries with ambitions in quantum computing that could again disrupt the entire world.

The Next Disruption in AI

The pattern continues in today’s AI era. OpenAI, Google Gemini, Anthropic’s Claude, and Perplexity dominate the headlines, but none are guaranteed permanence. Somewhere in the background, a company we’ve never heard of may be preparing to disrupt these disruptors. We will soon see...

Final Thought

Disruption is not the end of a story it’s just a turning point. The once-disrupted can rise again, and the disruptor who grows complacent will inevitably face challengers. The cycle ensures that innovation never rests.

Everyone is playing a different game, even in the same arena.

Two entrepreneurs can chase the same startup idea or enter the same market, yet end up with completely different outcomes. Why? Because it’s not just about what you’re doing, but how and why you’re doing it. The varying visions make the difference.

In investing, the same logic applies. Investors have distinct strategies. One might invest for long-term value; another might be in for a quick flip. Their timelines, emotions, and goals are completely different. So following someone else’s advice blindly can lead you off track because their game isn’t your game.

This is why clarity is everything. Define your own game. Understand your vision, your values, and your rules. Then align your actions with that, not with what’s trending or what others expect. Don’t let noise from other people’s journeys drown out the direction of your own. The real win lies in staying aligned with your path.

This mindset applies to every part of your life. In the end, it isn’t about playing the best game; it’s about playing your game well.

Nothing worthwhile is free.

Everything of true value comes at a cost. First, you need to define what you want. Then you should be prepared to pay the price.

In the financial world, you pay with capital, time, and discipline for returns, wealth, or a successful business. There are no shortcuts; financial gains come from effort and smart choices.

In real life, a strong relationship demands empathy, compromise, and consistent effort. Mastering a skill requires dedication and practice. Fitness goals are met with discipline and sweat. Knowledge comes from focus and study. Meaningful things are earned, not given.

For true peace of mind, you might pay with forgiveness and self-reflection. Wisdom often costs humility and learning from setbacks. Making an impact requires sacrifice and unwavering commitment. These prices are high, but the rewards are immeasurable.

Real growth often looks like nothing.
No results. No breakthrough. No applause.

But underneath? Roots are spreading. Strength is forming. Patience is paying off.

Bamboo grows underground for years.
Then in days, it shoots up feet at a time.
Not suddenly—but silently prepared. Like an iceberg, like the lotus in the mud, like the oak tree that bends but doesn’t break.

Don’t rush the rise.
Trust the roots.

We don't get to choose most of our thoughts.

Before we chose our values, someone modeled them.

Before we formed our beliefs, we absorbed them.

Before we defined our standards, we reacted to expectations.

Much of what we call “identity” is repetition that started early and continued unchallenged.

Habits feel natural because they were practiced long enough. Roles feel permanent because they were rewarded often enough. Reactions feel automatic because they were never questioned.

Becoming aware of this doesn’t erase the past; it clarifies it.

And clarity is the first step in constructing yourself consciously.

This 19th century song explains it all when it comes to listening more than talking:

"A wise old owl lived in an oak.

The more he saw the less he spoke.

The less he spoke the more he heard.

Why aren't we all like that old wise bird?"

We spend much of our lives looking for answers; answers to problems, to relationships, to purpose. But what if we’ve been starting in the wrong place?
The true breakthrough often doesn’t come from the right solution; it comes from the right question.
A question sharpens vision. It reframes reality. It interrupts the noise.
The quality of our questions determines the depth of our thinking.
And the right question—like a flame—doesn’t always light the way. Sometimes it burns down the path altogether.

Philosophical Perspectives

Philosophers have long been obsessed not with answers, but with the questions that birth them. Socrates, for instance, believed in eliciting knowledge through continuous inquiry—a method we now call the Socratic Method. The purpose of philosophy is not to settle for superficial truths, but to dig deeper.

Key Philosophical Questions:

• What assumptions am I making?
• Why do I believe what I believe?
• Is the question itself valid or limited?
• What does this question reveal about human nature?
• What would this look like from another perspective—existential, absurdist, Stoic?

Example: Not “What is the meaning of life?” → but “What does it mean for something to have meaning at all?”

Psychological Perspectives

In psychology, the right question is a mirror. It reveals not just what we think, but how and why we think that way. It untangles inner conflicts, unconscious patterns, and defense mechanisms. The wrong question reinforces illusions. The right one invites self-awareness.

Key Psychological Questions:

• What am I feeling—and what’s beneath that?
• What part of me is trying to protect me?
• Is this reaction about the present or a past wound?
• What story am I telling myself—and is it true?
• How would I speak to myself if I were someone I loved?
• What need is going unmet here?

Example: Not “Why am I broken?” but “What adaptive role did this behavior once serve?”

Educational Perspective

In learning and teaching, the quality of the question often dictates the quality of thought. A teacher who asks the right question doesn't just deliver knowledge; they awaken the learner's desire to discover.

Key Educational Questions:

• What do you think this means?
• How would you explain this to someone else?
• What if the opposite were true?
• Why do you think this matters?
• Where else could this idea be applied?

Example: Not “What did the author say?” → but “Why do you think the author avoided saying certain things?”

Scientific & Research Perspective

In science, asking the right question is everything. It shapes the hypothesis, determines the experiment, and influences the outcome. A vague question leads nowhere; a precise one leads to discovery.

Key Scientific Questions:

• What is the mechanism behind this phenomenon?
• What variables am not accounting for?
• How can this be measured?
• Is this correlation or causation?
• What experiment would falsify this?

Example: Not “Is this drug effective?” → but “What is the statistically significant recovery rate difference between control and test groups under defined parameters?”

Economic Perspective

In economics, asking the right question means uncovering the incentive structures and unintended consequences that drive behavior within constraints. It's not just about money—it's about choices, trade-offs, and systems of value. Economists don’t ask “What’s happening?” but “Why is this happening the way it is?”

Key Economic Questions:

• What are the incentives at play?
• What is scarce here—and for whom?
• Who benefits, and who bears the cost?
• What are the externalities (hidden effects)?
• Is this policy addressing the symptom or the structure?
• What would people do if conditions or rules changed?

Entrepreneurial Perspective

Entrepreneurs often fail not because of poor execution, but because they start with the wrong question. Instead of asking what they can build, they must ask what needs to be solved.

Key Entrepreneurial Questions:

• What is the core problem here?
• Whose problem is it, and how painful is it?
• What do people do currently to solve this?
• What if this didn’t exist—would anyone care?
• Am I solving a symptom or the root cause?

Example: Not “How do I get more customers?” → but “What do my customers already want that I’ve misunderstood?”

Spiritual Perspective

The spiritual seeker is not merely looking for divine answers—they are looking to ask questions that transcend language and ego. The right spiritual question is often a paradox, or a silent flame that burns without smoke.

Key Spiritual Questions:

• Who am I, really ?
• What remains when thought is silent?
• What is this moment lacking?
• If I let go of everything, what remains?
• Is there a witness behind the witness?

Example: Not “Where is God?” → but “Who is the one asking?”

The right question is rarely loud.
It whispers.
It waits.
It pierces through certainty like a crack in a wall.

Across all disciplines—philosophy, science, business, relationships, education, spirituality, economics, and psychology—asking the right question is the beginning of real thinking.

So maybe the greatest wisdom is not in knowing what to say next.
But in learning what to ask.
And having the courage to live in the space before the answer arrives.