Victims Of Our Own Success

Happiness does not lie in the result, but in the process. When you think you have conquered happiness or success—whatever you want to call it—it will certainly desert you. If you keep running after happiness or success without enjoying or embracing the process, you will become the victim of your own success.

Stress-related health issues, anxiety disorders, and cases of depression have skyrocketed over the past 30 years, despite the fact that many people have flat-screen TVs at home and can have groceries delivered. Hence, our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential and spiritual.

Our society today, influenced by social media, has forgotten the real meaning of happiness and success. We want to show others how we are progressing, despite the fact that we still lack confidence. We want to show how happy we are, despite struggling to pay tuition and rent. We share ideas on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that we have never experienced or lived through. We present a false, façade image of ourselves.

This is because we do not want to progress in real life—we just want to show others that we are progressing (even when we haven’t). This lack of self-respect has always held us back from achieving anything real.

The challenge is to start by accepting what we are instead of pretending to be what we want to be. We must stop worrying about being smart and avoiding failure, and instead observe, learn, improve, pursue our dream, and get on with life. To succeed, more than ability, we need character—a self-loving, self-believing character.

We learn about the best way to make money because we feel we don’t have enough already. We stand in front of the mirror and affirm how happy we are because we don’t feel happy already. We follow dating and relationship advice because we don’t feel lovable already. Hence, we should start by accepting what we are.

We can pursue our dream by practicing helping each other. The world is too dangerous and too difficult for us to think we can do it alone. Even if you find your spark, it is hard to pursue it.

So, we should build the habit of seeking suggestions and help from people who have gone through adversity. The amazing thing is: when you learn to ask for help, you’ll discover there are people all around you who have always wanted to help. They just didn’t think you needed it because you kept pretending you had everything under control.

After all, we should understand the hard reality of life: everything worthwhile is won through surmounting negative experiences. The pain we endure in the gym makes us healthier and stronger. Failure in business leads us to understand what is necessary for success. Suffering through fear and anxiety is what allows us to build courage and perseverance.

This is the law of nature: we have to go through negative experiences in order to get a positive result. Attempting to escape adversity is a violation of that law.

The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is, in itself, a struggle. The denial of failure is, in itself, a failure. Therefore, if you have a dream—or have found your purpose and meaning in life—you must go through the process to achieve your wildest dream.