Breaking Down Everything Into Two Things (IM 979)

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own...”

- Epictetus, Discourses

The ancient Romans has given us many wisdoms to thrive in 21st Century and among them differentiating the things we can control from the things we can't is one of the most important.

Epictetus, in Enchiridion , wrote: "Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinions, choices, desires, aversions, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don't control  our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing. Even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhindered, and unobstructed, while those not in our control are weak, slavish, and are not our own."

I find this dichotomy of control really practical and applicable every single day in our lives. The circumstance of life is that it is very unpredictable but the one and the only way to hack and remain unharmed by any unpredictability is by breaking down things into controllable and incontrollable.

I have applied this practice many times. When I encounter any difficult circumstances or when I am overwhelmed by the circumstances, I ask myself a question, "Is this in my control?" and if the answer is "NO", then there is nothing to worry about because I can't do nothing about it and if the answer is "YES", I tend to make the choice that controls the situation; I tend to change my will and action.  (Honestly, most of the time the answer is "NO")

Unable to differentiate between these two is the source of all the anxieties, depressions and sufferings.

The only matter of concern to live a happy life is know the things that we can control. We can't control the weather, other people's opinion, our job title, death and we can't control the society around us. There is only one thing and one thing only that we are control of and that is: ourselves. Our will. Our intention.

According to Stoic Philosophy, we are control only of our own soul. So there is no point of worrying about what tomorrow will bring because tomorrow is not in our control. Likewise, there is no point of worrying about death because dying is not in our control too.  "The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have", Marcus Aurelius said. If we start separating these things, everything start becoming simpler. Once we stop letting external things controlling us, we become free.

At the end, we all end up adapting to what Viktor Frankl said in his masterpiece, "Man's Search For Meaning", "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”